Ushra’Khan

We come for our people

Who are we
Ushra’khan (U’K) is one of the oldest alliances in the game with a focus on the lore and history of EvE. We fight for freedom and the abolishment of slavery. As such we are heavily engaged in the Providence region where Amarr loyal forces are spreading and establishing stations build on the backs of minmatar slaves.

Roleplaying, is it for me?
We don’t wear funny hats and in general you will not see much difference in the internal workings from any other alliance. However our goals and enemies are roleplay defined. Also we enforce that the local channel is only to be used in a roleplaying environment. Some of our pilots write blogs and short stories that can be enjoyed when not actually playing. However if you don’t enjoy the roleplaying aspect you may yet find U’K to your liking simply leave local channel alone.

What is Ushra’Khan about?
Ushra’Khan is about roaming in small mobile forces. We have the capabilities to field capital fleets but it is only deployed occasional. There will not be many  POS take downs if any. We are about friendship and respect towards each other and our enemies. We uphold NRDS policy in all of EvE but in Catch and Providence. We have a focus on small fleet warfare and Covert and black Ops.

What is Ushra’Khan not about?
We don’t do piracy. We don’t shoot POSs for hours on end. We don’t sit on gates for hours waiting for the enemies 300 ship blob to jump into us. We do not smack though we do exchange ideologies on occasion with the enemy.

When do we operate?
Around the clock.  Our time zone distribution: 60% European, 22% Pacific and 17% US.

What are we looking for?
We are looking for mature players or corporations that are mainly interested in small fleet and partisan warfare.
-    Have a Black OP or stealth bomber ship and not found use of it?
-    Ever wanted to engage 100 enemies, being outnumbered 5:1 and live to tell?
-    Tired of watching POS shields or bubbled gates?
-    Want to try out fast paced combat?
Dedicated role player or not you will find Ushra’Khan a good place to be.

For a slightly different spin on U’K recruitment, check out Ombey’s page.

Our killboard
http://www.ushrakhan.com/alliance/edk/

Our contact point
http://www.ushrakhan.com/alliance/viewforum.php?f=33

Our stories
http://www.ushrakhan.com/alliance/viewforum.php?f=13

I normally just play the game and enjoy it but I have noted a disturbing trend in EvE that only has gotten worse over the last year.

The answer is 25 !

Yes, I know Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy would have you believe otherwise but the answer is in fact 25.

25 Titans is what it takes to kill a capital ship.

The introduction of new items to the game has brought about an imbalance of epic proportions, where titans is by far the most far reaching and damaging to the game. I don’t care much about the actual numbers to be quite frank but the fact remains that 25 Titans is a very realistic possibility to come across in the combat scenario of current day EvE.

CCP has introduced an item that simply throws the balance of the game into absurdity. I know Im in the following point out an issue and give no solution, but one does not need to have a solution at hand in order to spot a problem.

The main problem I think is that CCP thinks the items they introduce are unique in their economic sense. A Titan ? Takes a very large alliance to build one. A single alliance will never own more than one or two ! Initially, yes, that was the truth but now they are actually mainstay in most alliances. You don’t buy the BPO and research it to use it one time. Mass production is the order of the day and why should it not be so ?

CCP has to accept that whatever item they introduce will eventually become mainstay.

But you have to get a character to live in that titan. Who would do that ? Well for the larger alliances that is no problem at all. If you have a character that is able to fly a Titan you simply get ISK from the alliance to go buy a new character and a funding every second month to go buy a 60 Day GTC to keep the Titan pilot active.

Have anyone noted how the GTC prices are soaring ? I’m not saying that Titans are sole to blame but to some extend the “uber” capitals are founded by GTC. This also includes motherships. The result is a constant demand for GTC from the alliances. With limited amount of GTC’s the prices goes up till the regular player can no longer spend hour upon hour in order to scrape the ISK in for his subscription. The alliances have no problem paying cause they have the income from Moons protected by the very pilots that gets their subscription payed. The looser is the average pilot.

Anyway that was a sligt detour into GTC trading, back to Titans.

The very way EvE is constructed around star gates and POSs makes their grid killing ability to the most formidable weapon in EvE. Jump in a fleet of battleships that are needed to take down the cyno jammer and facing 3 Titans the fleet is doomed. Hope you the average player out there enjoyed that ! Ohh you escaped the initial 3 doomsdays then welcome to the cyno jammer. you have to stay there for some time, not like the gate where you can get away. Boom. Did you enjoy the game ?

There is no defence. Nowhere to run and nowhere to hide. You can of course lock down your own system with around the clock Titans, which is equal to, “Hey you have the very same options as we do” I can hear the larger alliances with the Titans saying. The field is level for all. But truth be told it is far from level. The only option a new player coming to EvE has is to join one of the power blocks. There are no new alliances formed that can challenge the supremacy of the Titans.

So what is left ? We all go back to empire and mine Veldspar ? We sit in a corner and whine ?

Of Course not, we each play the game to the best of our abilities and enjoyment but that does not mean that 0.0 and Titans are not a broken feature and item.

Then comes the entire problem of sovereignty and POSs which I may or may not take up.

Please CCP take these things into consideration before adding more stuff like walking in stations or adding more tech III stuff.

The newest addition to the hangar makes it’s way through the warp tunnel. I have never flown a Jaguar before but feel at home in its counterpart the Wolf. It handles very well and responds fine to my subtle instructions. I am eager to test its capabilities in actual combat.

I approach the Y-M gate in the kari system and jump in unopposed, passing an Obelisk, that now will hold back a few minutes more before jumping in I’m sure.

A quick scan confirms that I am alone on the gate and I initiate warp to the D61A gate hoping to find some unsuspecting prey jumping into Y-M.

The Jaguar hold still 3000 km from the gate aligned at half speed when a Cyclone lands and jump into D61A. I know I wont be able to fight such a formidable ship on my own and settle in for a wait. No sooner have I informed the small crew that they can take a short break before the voice comm crackle with the voice of Forty Three, he has engaged the Cyclone and is already taking it down on the other side of the gate. I quickly warp to the gate and jump to give support if, for whatever reason, he should need it. The cyclone buckles under the combined firepower of our ships.

Quickly getting the remains salvaged, Forty Three warps out and I go into high orbit around the gate. As Forty Three leaves  the cavalry arrives in the shape of an Abaddon with some additional support ships. I feel pretty confident from the distance of 170 km when he lights up my ship and fires a salvo.

My camera drones have a hard time focusing with the laser beams hitting, but no serious damage is registered. None the less it is an impressive range for an Abaddon. I take the Jaguar closer to see when damage will register and at 135 km it becomes interesting as a 4th of my shield is peeled away. I make a mental note of damage, range and vector and warp off. We shall meet again I grin to myself.

Subconscious I register the low buzz of an incoming message.

- All pilots are to RTB ASAP in F4R, a council will adjourn.

Signed Kerth

I’ve alway found it peculiar that a Gallentee can climb to the top of a Matar clan alliance. But the people of Matar has strange ways and I shall not begin to understand them anytime soon. However the message is clear and leaves little room for interpretation. A quick scan confirms that the Y-M gate is clear of bubbles and I slip by the small fleet that has taken up position after the Cyclone kill. A quick stop in Esa for fuel and I was ready to go.

As I make my way towards F4R I notice the ever increasing number of ships that seem to head in the same direction. There is complete silence on the internal communication channel and I can feel a slight shiver. The ships bear strange markings. Hastily painted it seems. Simple yet strikingly fitting paintings so very like the many clan symbols I have gotten used to.

I pass a Hurricane close by and notice the red rings painted around the numerous gun turrets. White zig zag stripes forms what looks like lightning towards the nose of the ship. The Bloody Hand of Matar marks it a Ushra’Khan vessel but the tribal markings are new to me. An Apocalypse, also with tribal markings, 10 km off make for a strange sight and a blinding contrast.

F4R show local ship numbers over their hundreds. The docking point is a mess as everyone struggles to keep ships out of each others way and at the same time slip into the station. In high orbit around the station is multiple Ushra’Khan ships that I recognise. They keep a watchful eye on the swirling sea of ships.

The voice communication channels are no longer silent. The guttural voices drown out the other races as insults and threats are are slung at each other. So far no real incidents has occurred but the tension is there, hanging in suspense. With so many warriors with their ego and pride gathered in such a small place it is bound to go wrong at some point as tempers erupts and guns flash.

Being a product of The State and KIA I am not used to such displays but find them fascinating. I take the high orbit to observe and keep my ship safe. Navigation in that seething cauldron of ships is hazardous at best.

Some hours later the docking port has cleared enough for me to fly into the hangars of the station and dock up. My pod is extracted from the Jaguar and transported to the cleaning facility where I take a much needed shower. Checking my NeoCom as I dress I can see the gathering will be tomorrow at the earliest. In The State or in KIA ASAP means right now but here where Matar Tribal rules are enforced ASAP means in the next few days. Checking my appearance in the holomirror and making slight adjustments to my collar I set off for the local bar in this part of the station. I am very proud of the Collar buttons that I have ordered from the Gallentean girl. She had mixed in some Mercoxit that gives them a sligt glimmer appearance when compared to other U’K insignias. At first I had opposed the idea of mixing Mercoxit as I had heard they could emit gasses when mining and to walk around with it right under ones nose sounded very unhealthy.

In the bar the air was thick from tobacco and my lungs struggles to breathe. The noise was overwhelming and the amount of people moving around even more so. My hearing caught the roar of Ombeys voice booming with laughter and I started to make my way in that general direction. I had to make a few detours as small groups of armed freedomfighters stood shoulder to shoulder with no obvious way around due to antique weapons they all seem to be carrying. An axe of sorts if I know my Matar history. Looks very vicious and I can see how that weapon must have been an intimidating display in the older days of hand to hand combat.

Ombey is located at a battered table, with lots of people around looking at him as he with lots of gestures recreate a battle out of styrofoam cups and glasses with beer. I smile as I stand behind Sapphrine and watch as my noble stealth bomber is pictured as a shot-glass with rum moving over the table. More laughter erupts as two Abaddons are “blown up” as Cribb empties the glasses. The battle depicturing degenerates into a semi drinking contest as everyone wants to “blow up” a CVA ship. Beer-glasses are tilted and turned over and Ombey have to give up the storytelling as everyone is pushing and shuffling to get beer from the table. Laughter erupts again and friendly insults are thrown at each other. I am offered a glass of rum by Ombey as we greet and are not late to accept the glass of rum. Strange weakness I have for that stuff.

The station intercom booms up and a voice is heard though I can’t quite make out who the owner is:

“Your attention please, brave warriors. Your attention please.”

There is a short break to allow the voices to lower

“Thank you for your hasty return to F4, I hope your journeys were trouble free… at least no trouble for YOU.” Chairs are driven into the floor over and over and general laughter ensues. “You have been brought back to F4 for an announcement which will take place at 0900 sharp in the Conference Hall. So, please eat, drink and be merry, the bar is free for tonight!” A roar of voices goes up to a level almost critical to the health of my hearing.

When things clam down, or as much as they can with so many clan people around, I can talk to Zoolkhan, Cribb and Ombey. Apparently there will be some sort of congregation tomorrow in the great hall where the different clan leaders will “Address urgent matters”. I can see from the smile on Zoolkhans face that he knows more than he is willing to tell at the moment.

“Fine, fine, be assholes!” I declare as I give a wink and walk to the bar for an additional glass of rum. I can’t stand to be in the bar for more than a few hours before my throat can take no more smoke. I salute everyone around the table where we sit and bid them goodnight. As I make my way out I can see the overworked security people wishing they could go to bed as well. But they have more fist and knife fights to stop and a mess of a bar to clean up later. I don’t envy them and the clone VAT guys that have to pull out an angry Matar that has just lost a clone in a bar fight.

I don’t sleep well with the anticipation of what is to come and wake way too early. I can hear people shuffling by outside the door. A quick shower, getting dressed and I’m ready to go.

In the corridor I almost crash into a procession. Old banners are being prepared and drums with brass rings are being polished. “DevilDog Brigade” the banner proclaims with tribal markings below… I recognise the marking as some that were on the ships I saw yesterday.

As I make my way towards the Mirkur corporate hangars I take note of more and more people with strange markings. The Phoenix of Phaze-9 is blazing from a banner held by a Caldari male. I recognize him as Kristos Valamache and next to him is the CEO Maestro Ulv. I remember them coming from the depts of Providence where they had lived till they could bear the mockery of freedom no longer. Not quite tribes people but top class freedom fighters.

At the door to our hangar I see a lot of the other Mirkur guys waiting around all dressed in their finest. For some that means a leather vest for others like me it is full gala regalia with my new U’K buttons, medals and markings. Poreuomai has pulled the corporate standard from some dust filled cabinet and is checking it is in condition to be displayed. That means it has the right amount of holes, ripping and dirt that are expected on a standard and banner. Zoolkhan is running around the crowd trying to get everyone into something that resembles a line behind Poreuomai. Ombey, Akikio and I exchange smiles at the efforts Zoolkhan puts into it all. Cribb has to refrain from returning the smile but his eyes hints at the amusement he derives from the circus as well.

It is almost 09:00 and we are half herded half walking nobly towards the assembly hall. Even from two decks away we can hear the tribal drums echo down the corridors. We have no drums to proclaim our coming but Zoolkhan has issued Axes for all Brutors and I have gotten an old saber in a silver holster. I have never wielded a saber in my life but it seems very important that we all appear armed and ready.

Approaching the conference hall my ears start ringing from the booming sound of the drums. The mass of people is pushing and yelling with clan leaders, alliance leaders trying to maintain whatever dignity they had planned. The banners and standards are all that hold some cohesion to the different clans and corps as a natural beacon to gather around.

The rather large group of the council is located at a podium and supervise as people are taking their seats. More chairs are being knocked over than sat on though. Kerth approaches a microphone of sorts with Karn and Sapphrine at each side. The constant drumming is replaced by complete silence.

“Warriors, I hope you enjoyed last night, and that your heads don’t hurt so much now. The reason you have been gathered here is to let you know something of great importance, and I wanted to tell you in person. As you know, we have quite a history, and a black spot on that history is the actions of Sylph Alliance.”

Wild cries erupt and the heavy axes are clashed into nearby items adding to the drums that once again gets a beating. Several are whistling as well.

Kerth raises his hand for silence and once more complete silence falls over the hall. The contrast is striking.

“We have been regularly hitting them in Catch and Providence, but today, we are stepping it up a level.” a short pause is held for artistic reasons “We have just issued a CONCORD sanctioned WarDec, and in 24 hours we are cleared to fight them in empire.”

The whole room is turned into chaos as warriors cries of the full of their lungs, banners and standards are flying above the crowd and we in the Mirkur are no less jubilant. I even find myself yelling war cries though it is drowned out by much louder and deeper voices.

= TO WAR =

It has been some interesting weeks. We have made incursions at large into Providence and recently CVA and Sylph have adopted a firm convoy doctrine they seem to follow to the letter. The lone haulers have become fewer and their jumpbridges are often partolled by interceptors.

They gather in large fleets and move their Freighters in the safety of numbers.

Little safety they find in those large fleets when our ever watchfull stealth bombers dive in for another go at their fleets whereever they are found. Fighting outnumbered in small mobile forces never counting more than 20 ships we can stretch their forces and make them run in order to cover all the incursion alerts that go out.

Evolution. Evolution, action, reaction. The constant adaptation of tactics and doctrine forces both sides to be on their toes. CVA and Sylph has kept up and adapted to our new form of warfare by doing everything in convoys. We shall put their courage to the test as we unfold our capabilities of strikeing in large numbers anywhere regardless of their fleets holding the stargates. Will they still feel safe ? Will they be able to adapt ?

The usual rack pack of mercenaries, pirates and freedom fighters had gathered in the Esa system. Anticipation was high. CONCORD had announced that the virus that had infiltrated the jumpbridges all over EvE had been cleared. Ombey had arrived on time making a run down from F4R. I had been spending quite a few hours already in and around the Y-M system. CVA, Sylph had other dwellers had gotten used to me, though they every now and then had made vague attempts to engage me. An Ares had been most persistent but every time I was sure we would have a fight his wing man in a Rook came blasting in.

The people in the bar were of all kinds of associations, corps and alliances come together with the common goal of killing providence dwellers for their own reasons. The mainstay of the fleet was “The Gurlstas Associates” from “Genos Occidere” but also more obscure corps like “Nos Deficio” and even a pilot from “Caldari Provisions” were present.

“POD up” came the short order from Garmon as he and Nexus led the group out from the bar. The nervous Amarr residents had left it a long time ago and only a few government peace holders were off to a side minding their own business and tried to look very occupied by their table legs. You could see their eyes shine with rage as they noticed Ombey with his distinct Matari features but they wisely kept their temper in cage.

I had undocked and was already in Y-M by the time the rest of the gang was assembled. I had warped directly to the D61A gate and taken up position.

“Stabber Fleet Issue agessing on Kari gate” came to short communication burst.

I could already feel this would be a good day.

Garmons staccato voice rerupted “Get into F…ing gear. Get point on the Stabber and chase off the support.”

I turned my Taranis around and headed for the Kari gate. I landed some 30 km from the Stabber that initially had tried to get back to the gate when he had been swarmed by the Taranis gang.

“Hold fire, check scanner” Garmon called.

Drones were recalled, turrets held their lethal fire and Sabres got ready to bubble any rescue team who would be foolish enough to try and save the Stabber. After 3 minutes, an eternity in combat, scanner was reported clear. No friends comming to make a rescue attempt

“Finish him off” Garmon called and the Stabber erupted in a fireball by the combined firepower of 14 ships, I had already wapred off to scout the D61A system.

“We have two Harbingers, a Heretic, a caracal and a punisher on the Y-M gate in D61A” I informed the FC. “Harbingers are odly off the gate as if they have jumped in and not reapproached the gate or regrouped.”

It looked to me as if the group of 5 people were utterly clueless as to the incursion of hostile ships in Y-M or they played dumb in a system with no less than 2 jump bridges and a system we had no eyes in.

“Time to spring the trap” Nexus said over the intercom, echoing my own thoughts.

“Aye” Garmon confirmed. “Wot give me a 360 degree scan and Nexus get ready to make them agro”.

“Scan clear from gate but the 4 hostiles” I reported. “Get agro and rest of you scum prepare to jump in and bail him out.” Garmon called.

“Got agro, going into armor!” was the frantic message some 10 second later.

The gang jumped in and the fight was on. I called the Harbinger closest to Nexus primary and Garmon confirmed the primary 5 seconds later. The Harbinger exploded in a satisfying inferno as his ships system in error overloaded the lazer crystals and went critical. Next to bite the dust was a very cap stable heretic. Little good did his cap stable ships do him when he tried to run, a nice shield or armor buffer is the way forward. If you dont get out in 30 sec then your dead anyway no matter how much cap you got. The second harbinger went down like a sack of bricks. By that time the local comms channels indicated that the trap so finely laid was about to be sprung. Coordination is ever the problem and as the enemy ships warped in on us Nexus put up a bubble that would render the enemy unable to warp after us.

A thasher was the first to land in our bubble and got killed quikly.”Scanner !” Garmon called and Count MonteCarlo reported it clear. “Hold position and get ready to burn” Garmon told over the intercom.

“Get ready to burn” is the keyword to get ready to get out of dodge town and that enemy ships will land at any moment, drones are scooped, bubbles are cleared and people get ready to overheat the engines.

“Incoming” stated Count MonteCarlo’s low voice.

Full Size Screen Shot

“BURN !!!” Garmon called and we all overheated and cleared the field leaving the enemy stuck in the bubble.

Nexus was the firt to land on the H6 gate and engaged a third Harbinger. I wondered if these ships were on sale somewhere but reasoned that we, after all, was in Amarr Space. A new bubble was put up and the Harbinger went down as more hostile ships landed. Nexus got caught by a Lachesis and went down but not before his death was avenged. A punisher also took one in the face before we burned out. I don’t even recall shooting at him.

We scattered all over the system and tried to bait the main gang on the Y-M gate but they only moved closer to the gate when one of our ships showed the flag some 300 km from the gate.

“I…” There was a brief hesitation… “Well guys… I think we have a drake fighting some sansha in a belt…” a fleet member reported. Completely unaware that no less than 17 hostile ships where in the system this Drake pilot happily were collection bounties from Sansha ships.

A brief discussion led to the conclusion that the pilot was not in the main gang of enemies we had in the system and not in any of the corporations or alliances. He was simply clueless as to what was going on. Cluelessness gets you killed awfully fast in the world of EvE.

The main blob did not move from the Y-M gate so we opted to go for a small roam into Providence to see how the locals lived and how they would die when we visited pain upon their ships.

We took down some ships along the way and eventually ran into this Raven.

He was quickly gagged and bagged and once again we held of fire to see if anyone would come to his rescue. None came. It became embarrassing when the few drone that had survived the initial battles was actually chewing his shield up.

“Fini… Did the just eject ???” Garmons voice trailed off as the pod warped off. No one had though of bubbling it.

Discussion and laughs erupted. Should we take the Raven to combat as bait or just blow it up and get the insurance and move on…

“Resdayn eject, enter the raven and lets blow it up, its too cumbersome to have to fly around” Garmon made the decision.

In matter of seconds the former proud battleships exploded and debris flew to all sides.

The roam ended for me with a Diemost taking it in the teeth.

Ombey continued on and laid waste to several more CVA ships, including a Navy Omen and 2 Drakes.

I can’t wait for another tour into the lovely space of Providence where I hope more U’K will come along.

Everywhere I go there is a slow and orderly feeling as the masses walk by me. The very walls seem to vibrate with low tunes and from hidden loudspeakers a monomous voice speak of god.

Im in the system of Esa in the Tash-Murkon region. Having picked up my Manticore last week I arrived sound and well. I also purchased a Claw and had taken it out for a spin.

The manticore however has, with the new upgraded cpu, turned into the perfect weapon of terror. However doing some solo hunting in providence quickly showed that it is a well populated space and that escorts where helping to intended victims. Ombey had been with me earlier but now I just sat quite annoyed on the Y-M gate in D61A some 2100 meters from it. Far enough that the gates particle emissions would not ruin my cloak and close enough to jump out should everything turn sour.

That was when everything quickly got exiting, a hostile fleet warped in that my IFF told me belonged to CVA and their allies. They were no more than 5 clicks away from me. In a pos the oxygene is fed into you but it still felt like I was holding my breath. It was not a large gang but it was enough to cause me serious trouble in case they got the scent of me. Especially the Onyx was of concern as well as the small tacklers.

The gate flashed and a slow hauler jumped in. The CVA ships ignored it as they were likely there to protect it anyway. Then a sucession of rapid flashes made the CVA ships start to move. They seemed unsure about if they were to attack or run. First one then several Taranis interceptors showed up and decended upon the small CVA gang like crased wasps. My I got shocked when the first Torpedo exploded nearme and in the blink of an eye turned the ships nearest to me into a smoldering wreck of twisted steel. 3 minutes later the CVA gang was no more. Wrecks littered the gate and the Taranis gang was bussy picking of odd bits and pieces that could be saved from the engagement and sold at a later date. The gang clearly showed that it was labeled as hostile but they had just dispatched a gang of CVA at an alarming rate and that I guess made them friends of sorts.

They left quickly again towards 9UY and I decloaked and jumped into Y-M. as I jumped in more CVA ships started to arrive but a quick alignment and cloaking took me easily out of harms way and into a spot above the gate where I could observe.

The Taranis gang would not stand a chance I realised as a Thanatos landed on the gate and no less than 50 light drones deployed from the 30 ships.

I searched my log for the local channel in D61A and found Nexus Kinnon to be part of the Taranis gang. I called him up via NeoCom and informed him that they had a large gang waiting for them. He thanked me but did not close the connection. I let it be and flew to the Kari gate to see if I could catch a hauler. The Kari gate however is HUGE. meaning that you have to be lukcy for an entering hauler to land even remotely close to you. Nexus Kinnon hailed me over the Neo com and asked for status on the D61A gate and I flew over and surveyed it.

Slowly over the next two days we buildt up a form of trust. Enough that they invited me into their fleet and I started hunting with them. It did not take long for Genos Occidere and Ushra’Khan to grow a common bond and mutual standings were sorted. I am unsure if it will remain once they move out of Providence but for now I enjoy these great pilots company.

Other Ushra’Khan pilots have now joined up and even a freighter and it support ships had to fold under the immense damage dealt by the nifty little bombers. It died almost on the very point of docking at the station.

The slaughter of the providence dwellers has comensed !

Somehow CVA has come in possesion of our internal operational documents and have published them internally on their boards.

What does a UK pilot wear in his a pod?
- A cloak

What is a UK pilots favorite type of story?
- Cloak and Dagger

What is the official Soft Drink of UK?
- Cloak-a-Cola

Who is UK’s favorite Chef?
- Betty Cloaker

What is in a UK survival box?
- 1 Rollof Duct tape and a cloak

What is UK’s favorite snack?
- Hoestess Cloak Cakes

Why couldn’t the UK pilot have relations with his grilfriend?
- Cause his condom didn’t come with a cloak

Why couldn’t the UK pilot have relations with his grilfriend
- Cause his e-peen cloaked up and he couldn’t hit for shit.

Why coudn’t the UK pilot find his medals?
- Cause they were cloaked

What do you call a UK pilot wothout a cloak
- A Noob

How does UK do missions?
- They warp to the mission spot, cloak and wait till the NPC’s get bored.

Deep thought for the day…
When a UK Pilot is alone in local is he cloaked?

UK Official Training Guide;
Chapter 1 – Cloaking
Chapter 2 – Logging off
Chapter 3 – Cloak and then log off

Rules for a UK pilot on Cloaking:
Rule 1 when outnumbered Cloak
Rule 2 when equally matched Cloak
Rule 3 when superior in number Cloak
Rule 4 if the enemy fights back Cloak
Rule 5 when in doubt Cloak

UK policy on ratting:
1) Warp to belt
2) belt is/has:
2.1) Empty? -> cloak
2.2) Battleships and cruisers? -> cloak, they’ll eventually warp off.
2.3) Cruisers? -> be EXTREMELY carefull, move 200km away of the rats. Make sure everything is OK and then -> cloak.
2.4) Frigate spawn? proceed as stated in 2.3.
2.5) Mining barges or hauler? Make a “all hands on deck” call on alliance chat. Get as many buddies as possible.
Once your buddies get in system to ‘back you up’ -> CLOAK! – barges throw extremely powerfull and hard-hitting rocks, and if it’s a ice belt… oh shit -> cloak and logoff!

Well UK took it upon themselves to correct some missing operationals as CVA only managed to steal older documents

Fitting rule #1

- Fit cloak and then see what else fits.

—–

Fitting rule #2

- If cloak cant fit ship then ship is “unworthy”

—–

Q: How can you tell that U’K has infiltrated your outpost?
A: Every cloak on the market has been bought.
Hint for intel gathering: You can use the market history to detect the approximate infiltration time.

We also have come in possession of some CVA operational directives

1. How many Sylph does it take to screw in a lightbulb ?
- It doesn’t matter, They’re all going to die anyway.

2. How many Sylph does it take to screw in a lightbulb ?

- That’s a trick question, nobody knows what a *single* Sylph can do.

3. How many Sylph does it take to change a light bulb?
- Only one, but they must all be in agreement that the lightbulb indeed must be changed in order to increase efficiency
Paxton, on the other hand, must wait until they have a numerical superiority over the light bulbs of at least 3-1 before attemting to change them.

CVA generally occupies the entire building with people guarding all doors before engaging in the dangers of changing light bulbs. Sometimes the lightbulb blinks and they occupy the entire block… just to be sure.

How many Sylph does it take to mine a roid belt?

- 4 ! 1 to mine, 2 to guard the gates and 1 to write the after action report.

—–

Our training manual/protocol is much to complicated, with all that cloaking involved, I like theirs better:

Sylph’s Rookie Guide to PVP:
X up for blob.

Sylph’s anti Skirmish gang defense protocol:
Dock/POS up, then X for blob.

Sylph’s anti Solo-Roamer defense protocol:
Dock/POS up, then X for blob.

Sylph’s anti large vessel hostile incursion:
Dock/POS up, then X for blob

“Way of the Zealot” Guide:
Board a Zealot, then X up for blob.

Sylph Fleet comand Guide:
1. Form blob.
2. see point one.

Sylph’s hostile capital response:
Dock/POS up, re-log to capital alts as appropriate, then X for capital blob.

Sylph’s anti-blob protocol:
Dock/POS up, then X up for blob, call up offline friends to X up for blob, send evmail to friends in other holder alliances to X up for blob, do not engage until the relation between friendly and hostile numbers is logarithmic (friendlies >= 10^hostiles).

—–

Statements and jokes are ™ their respective owners and so forth

Please add more of your own jokes on the enemy in comments.

It happens every now and then that a corporation or even an alliance slows down.
After the victory in 49-U6U some thee weeks ago it has been extremely quiet in the catch region.
The main battleship fleet moved down south in Immensea to support an Atlas attack on the region but there was more dancing then action to be had for the UK fleet.

UK has seen some more action recently in the old area of operation of KW- and that pipe and in F4R area but nothing to write home about.

I had been hanging in the bar for an hour when my neocom buzzed. It was Ombey and for some strange reason he was very exited about an old caldari weapon system being modified.
I read with half an eye as I left the bar and slowly walked towards my sleeping quarter.
Ombey told of some new cpu reconfiguration that now allowed Stealth Bomber to use the Torpedos.

Torpedos ?
Slow hulking dumb weapons that have been obsolete in ships vs ship fighting for a long time unless for special situtaions where the target is of cosiderable size.
Why would I want torpedos on my Maticore?
That was when the jaw dropped to the floor. The very same sneaky little veasel of a scientist had managed to strap a Covert OPs cloaking device on a manticore and initial trials had proved that the new cpu allowed for the use of a Covert cloak.
A manticore warping cloaked with large damage potential to larger targets.
Not a bad combination at all actualy.

It took only a mili second to check that my torpedo skills were lacking in the extreme.
Mentally my training cource were altered and make the use of tech II torpedo launchers a top priority.

I changed direction from my quarter toward the clone vat.

For some reason the cloning operators always feel on top of things.
I asscribe that to the fact that they as mere mortals see us pod pilots at our weakest just when we wake up in a new clone covert in goo.
“Call up New Caldari and make them prepare my jump clone and make a jump clone ready here” I ordered the smiling man.
The calibration and connection always take a while and sometimes they have to make several attempts before the actual “jump” is completed.

An almost identical smiling man (Do they clone these critters ?) helps me out from the clone vat and hands me a towel.
“Join the Caldari Navy” is printed in the typical large letters all over the towel with the capital C logo beneath.
Like hell id join the Navy ! Id rather be dragged thorugh weeks usage of the same pod fluid… Ohh, I am already.

After a shower and making sure my insignias are correctly in place I briskly walk to the hangar and there she is.
My old forgotten Manticore. She is sitting next to a Cerberus, several Crows, a Sabre, a thorax (How did that end up here?) and Covert OPs ship.
Shame really that that cerb has been sitting here for so long.

After going over the ships I order the new cpu upgrades installed and monitor the progress of the workers.
I have some of the dark brown drink the minmatars call rum brought up. Clearly not the same label as the good one avaliable down south but an ok brand non the less.
After a few hours the upgrades are in place and the Manticore is ready for undocking with a covert OP cloak and torpedo launchers of the expensive tech I named version.
Well not that expensive as I have a nice collection of 24 pieces from when FM-C was based up north. I never could bring myself to sell them as the buy price on them was never high enough.

A quick change and back in the wet grave and is lowered into the manticore. A Sweet female voice briefs me on the new installments and their functions.
She even informs me that I have one more forgotten manticore in some obscure system further up north.
I make a mental note to pick that up in the comming days as I undock and set the destination for Catch.

The bar was heavy with smoke from white and brown sticks these Minmatar people seemed to enjoy along with larger quantities of Quafe, beer and spirits. The guys were celebrating but I felt biased about the outcome of our latest endavour.

Ushra’Khan had regrouped in FAT and 25S and moved in to support the efforts of AAA and BoB. Over 1000 ships moved into 49- and the games began. The game of dominance is as boring as it is long. POSs were erected and reinforced at an insane speed but the sheer number of pilots aligned with AAA and BoB brought about the end of the Goons ability to keep up the effort. At one point no less than 1700 ships were recorded in the same system. I have not seens such fleets in a long time. KIA were nowhere to be found but rumors had it that Geminate was under attack and yet another rumor claims that KIA now hold no less than 3 titans. I cannot stress what a relief it is to be with U’K and not have to worry about these beasts every battle. Anyway BoB is back in the seat and now has absolute control over the 49-U6U system and SirMolle reflected on this in a public speach.

I had not known if I were to applaud or shoot the bastard. Not much good it would do as he would be in a fresh clone shortly after but some satisfaction it might have yielded. I have grown up ever since I got my wings with the tantrum that the big evil empire of BoB wants to take over all space and no one will be able to fly free under any other banner but in Empire controlled space. The ties of friendship and companionship however has landed me, if not in their fold, then on the same side of the fence.

The smoke the sticks emit seems to linger i mid air creating a blue and white layer that encompasses the upper torso of the bar dwellers. From my seat I can see Sapphrine, Kerth and Karn stand together and talk in low voices. Something new is brewing and I sure will welcome any change at the moment. Fleet duties and the long hours of waiting has taken its toll. I long for fast paced combat where every single pilot makes a difference. Although the huge fleets are powerful the individual tend to stand in the background when around 1000 other pilots.

People had started leaving as it was time to do regular patrols and other duties. A slow and mixed evening I summed up and prepared to leave as well.

The slow pulsing red light lit up before the sound of the general alert hit in full force drowning out the tribal drums of the Matar. Everyone looked up and then ran for the nearest exit towards the different hangars.

“Battlestattions!” Forty Three yelled as he exited the bar first with the rest of the U’K crew close at his heels.

Sapphrine had left the bar early and undocked his Raven and was now under heavy attack right out side the very station. I could feel the explosions rumble as two Ravens exchanged blows a mere kilometer away.

Faster, faster, faster, get in pod undock and kill the offender.

I entered the pod and got washed over as fluid poured in and covered my body. No sooner was my pod lifted from the floor before we started hooking up the fleet cohesion intercoms.

The pod got lowered into the ship, but ever so slowly. I was agitated which is not the best state of mind to enter combat.

“Trying to break off engagement” I heard Sapphrine say as my Vagabond was being aligned for undocking.

The voice of the hangar manager came in clearly. “Sir you…”

I mentally hit the throttle, full speed ahead. The explosion came as a complete surprise. The ship jerked to the right and came to an abrupt hold. Sapphrines Raven had exploded so close to the undock point that my vagabond had been thrown off course and now lay facing in the wrong direction.

“SABRE!!!” I yelled at the hangar crew as my pod was lifted from the Vagabond. It took no more then 30 seconds before I was placed in the new ship and running undocking procedures again.

I ejected cleanly from the station and speed past some of our battleships.

Ahh yes, the view of a small battle field. I noted the wreck of Sapphrines battleship as more hostiles landed on the station and the fight was on. It was clear they had not expected such a fast reaction and not so many capable ships undocking. None the less the enemy charged.

I jerked the Sabre to the right and pointed the nearby Raven that had attacked Sapphrine. The small 200mm autocannons stared spewing their lethal loads at the ship. The Raven gave a satisfying bloom of light as it exploded. I released a bubble to capture the enemy fleet and that sure got the attention.

In the blink of an eye my shield was down to half and I hit the micro warpdrive as I tried to clear out. I did not accelrate however as my ship got immobilized by a double webbing from a nearby rapier and a nasty little crusader charged in on me.

Again the payload of a drake hit me full force and my shield was now non existing.

“Give me 120% on the micro warpdrive” I ordered the crew. The speed picked up and all of a sudden I rocketed forward as I got out of range of the Rapier. I’m gonna make it I thought to myself.

An extremely unsatisfying sound told me the wardrive had deactivated. I was about to scram at the crew when my sensors registered the micro warpdrive crippling point of the crusader.

No, no, no,…, Fack it ! I turned the Sabre around and engaged the crusader, web and disruptor. His shield went down ever so slowly… Had the crew loaded barrage ammo into the cannons ?

To late to change ammunition, we will just have to see how this plays out. Hull breach my overview told me as yet one more load of assault missiles hit my poor ship.

One more volley and I would be done for.

Crusader was down to 10 % shield, if he kept it cool I would die, if not I would warp out. I argued my chances and told the crew to eject as I made a final approach that I hoped would finish him off.

The assault missiles hit me in full force and the badly battered Sabre disintegrated in a firestorm, unstable warpdisruptor probes blew up and ammunition ignited.

My very first loss in my time in Ushra’Khan. 4 months of 100 % efficiency ruined in the blink of an eye. Not for lack of combat or willingness to fight but for some reason the luck had run out. The very same Sabre that a number of times had warped out trailing flames with almost no hull intact of several battles.

Vision returned as my pod adjusted and I aimed for the station.

Fight was still on and I was eager to join the fight again. I saw the same sneaky devil of a Drake go down in flames as I docked. SERVES YOU RIGHT YOU BASTARD !!! Konson and I have a score to settle when I meet him again !!! Cursed be his Caldari Navy Hellfire Assault Missiles !!!

My bubble went down with my ship and the enemies were free to run. The only solution I figured was a Rapier to stop them.

I undocked once more and saw a Curse trailing fire but before I had him locked he blew up.

ahh there the Crusa… ohh he warped out… fack ! But ScoRpS sat there in his crow still feeling cooky or had someone put a point on him ? In any event when my double webs hit him he came to a satisfying speed level and my warrior drones let loose their small guns on him. Explosive ammunition just does not have a good effect on shields so the death struggle dragged out until Markus Belfost decided that a Cataclysm Cruise Missile was fitting to ram into the nimble little ship.

We picked up what could be salvaged from the wrecks and returned to the station.

The general mood about the engagement was good as we headed back to the bar we had just left.
For some reason after a tense combat situation people flock together and talk. New white and brown sticks were lit and the tribal drum music started pouring out the loudspeakers again. I guess a single Sabre loss aint that bad after 4 months and several billions of destroyed enemy ships.
The question was brought up if the alliance as a whole should compensate for the interdictor loss as they are vulnerable ships and valuable ships and people should not fear to fly them into combat. I declined any talk of such nonsense. Not out of modesty but Ive always payed for the ships I fly into combat and it would mock the other people who lost ships.
If it was a large alliance engagement and I was told to do 0% chance runs at the enemy fleet id maybe had taken the offer.

After a quick drink of something brown called Rum I took of to Agil to get a new Sabre and noted there is a new outpost in EvE. HED- now features a full station making it so much easier to store combat ships and fight both CVA and Paxton for the route into Catch. 10 jumps and 50 million ISK later I was back in F4R in my new ship.

These are interesting times and I look forward to the comming weeks…

OK, finally got around to updating my killboard.

It really took only 10 minutes.

First thing: Backup ! Always backup your stuff.

Create a backup of your database by logging on to you phpmyadmin. And sorry my overview is in danish

Select export and choose in the bottom to have it zipped.

For the fun of it (at least that is what I tell myself) I tried exporting in pure text which froze my system for quite some time and resulted in the longest notepad text wall ever.

Zipping on the other hand took only 30 sec. No need to change anything else as default works fine.

Now open a new browser window and download the new database.

Then unpack/unzip it to your desktop.

Go back to your window with phpadmin and start deleting / dumping the datafiles that are contained in your newly downloaded package. Do it one at a time and make sure you dont delete any file that is not included in the new database dump. Double check before deleting !

Now import the new files one at a time.

All imported ?

You are done and ready to post new mails. I know ive promised to look into syndicated kill mails but have not had the time.

Lets see where april leads us.